Mary Olson Kelly is a survivor — a breast cancer survivor. She also founded The Breast Wishes Institute. According to her, people have the tendency to give well meaning unsolicited advice to loved ones who have been diagnosed or are living with breast cancer. However, this kind of approach isn’t really the best approach because it can do more harm than good for both parties, especially on those who have breast cancer. Kelly recommends that people be more supportive to their loved ones as much as possible instead.

You can show your support to a loved one with breast cancer by taking the time to listen to her about her thoughts and feelings as well as discussing and respecting the choice she makes regarding her choice of treatment or doctor. Avoid undermining the choices she has made concerning her diet, treatment and other related issues. Build up her confidence by letting her know you support the decisions she makes. Assure her that you are always there for her whenever she needs your help. Offer to do chores like cleaning the house, cooking meals and running errands.

Keep in mind that she her doctor or a health professional is likely to have recommended to her that she join a cancer support group. So unless she asks you about it, don’t mention it. It is very likely that her doctor has already given her a referral. Another thing you should avoid is asking questions such as how your loved one feels about losing her hair or the possibility of dying. If she doesn’t ask for your opinion on these things, refrain from asking these questions and giving your opinion. Let her start any discussion regarding these issues because she’ll discuss those with you if she is ready or if she wants to. The last thing you want is to force her to think and talk about things that are stressful for her and may only contribute to make her depressed.

If, however, she is ready to talk or initiates conservations with you regarding hair loss, dying or any other breast cancer related issues, it pays to be prepared. The American Cancer Society has many programs and information you can check out. The organization has licensed cosmetologists who are trained specifically to help cancer patients with hair loss and make them look their best.