I’ll get right to the point. Teenagers can be hard to live with. The slamming doors, staying out late, answering back… You did it, I did it. Chances are, your kids do it too. But you’ll be glad to know there are ways to make it bearable. You just need to know how to handle it.

Consider this. 90% of teenagers think confidentiality at a sexual health clinic is important… followed by not telling their parents. You may have no idea what your kids are really up to. Frightening, isn’t it? But when I tell you that some areas of teenage brains mature later than others (including those areas responsible for planning and self control), you’ll probably start to realise why teenagers cause us so many headaches.

So how can we relate to them better?

In a minute I’ll reveal what you can do… but first let me explain something really important about relationships. This is vital to understanding your teenager. Think about what happens when someone asks you for something. If they’re polite and friendly, chances are you’ll help them out. But what if they’re not so friendly? Chances are, you’ll help them out the door! You’ll refuse to help them. You’ll butt heads.

Let’s apply this to your relationship with your teen. Be polite and friendly towards them. Treat them like a human (even though they may not always act like one!). Approach them on equal terms, and you’ll likely get a better response. Chuck your weight about, and they’ll butt heads with you!

So… choose your battles. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Remember your teen years – it helps get a perspective on things. Win battles by refusing to fight. Enforce your rules, but show your teenager you’re there for them.

And always bear this in mind. Most teens are trying to come to terms with their changing world. Being there for them could be the biggest gift you can give them.

You may have no idea what your kids are really up to….

by Allison Whitehead