I never tried to become a professional procrastinator, but this is a skill that I have honed since I was very young. I was always doing homework on the bus ride to school and still studying for quizzes as they were passed out by the teacher. Why do I procrastinate and cause myself all of this avoidable stress? The answer is simple. I don’t know. What I do know is that after 35 years of living this way, it is very likely that I will never change.For example, even by sitting down to write this blog entry I am neglecting work that I have already been promised payment for. I have over 30 articles to write by Tuesday, but what am I doing instead? I am writing a blog entry that may be of no interest to a prospective buyer. Why? My answer is: Why not?Why not is probably the most widely used mantra of a true professional procrastinator. For me, why not signifies that just because I have other work to do, doesn’t mean I have to stop everything I enjoy. Why not means, “I’ll have time tomorrow”, and you can bet that on Monday night way past bedtime I will frantically be finishing all of the work that I never got around to doing.

Even trying to complete this blog entry, an entry about procrastination, I have written a sentence or two and then: 1. Called my pregnant sister to check on her for the hundredth time; 2. Taken a shower; 3. Changed the laundry over and 4. Made lunch to eat. Do you notice that I am only in my fourth paragraph? I wish I was kidding about the activities but I am embarrassed to say this is all true.

So, how does a professional procrastinator really get things finished? I’ll tell you in a minute, I have to go get dressed.

What I do, no matter how childish this seems, is pretend that I am steel and my chair is a magnet. I learned this from my friends who have a son with ADHD. They say to their son simply “magnet steel” and he will slow down and refocus on his homework. Every time I think to get up, I say to myself, magnet steel, magnet steel. So sad because I just want to get up and do something else, but I stay put and I get my work done.

Do I have ADHD? It certainly sounds like I do, even to me. I’ve never been diagnosed and honestly, do I really need another diagnosis under my belt? I made it through high school and college with honors, so even if I have ADHD it didn’t negatively affect my education.

I believe that I just have so many interests that work is too boring to get to. I don’t want to write copy for products I think are bogus, I want to write about what I find interesting. Unfortunately, writing blog entries will not pay the bills and so I sit writing copy on why you too should buy a product you don’t really need.

Can a procrastinator break the ugly habit?

I’ve tried and tried. I’ve been lectured, yelled at, fired, and put under so much stress that sometimes I feel like I could explode. But then, the work gets done, I get paid, and it’s another week or two of fluffing off until the next deadline. I easily forget the situation I caused and I move on until I again find myself working until all hours of the night. So, my answer is no, a professional procrastinator can’t break the ugly habit, in fact, we thrive on it.